Such Beauty is Wasted
by nenoname
Summary: "The cowboy always rides off into the sunset by himself And monsters don't get happy endings." When Jesse McCree first set out to a certain abandoned village for a chance to lay low, he didn't expect to encounter a monster, let alone end up sticking around. (a beauty and the beast au)


Well, shoot.

Hanzo, as Genji would put it bluntly, had just ditched McCree.

The cowboy watched the scaled wolf-like creature practically flee from the dojo and he started to light up a cigarillo. The first one he let himself have in quite some time. The dragon was likely to tell him off for it later, always complaining how it made the castle stink, but right now he really needed it.

McCree let out a long exhale, smoke drifting towards the sky.

It had been such a nice (although tiring) morning too. With the heavy snow making it a pain to use the shooting range outside, Genji had come up with the idea of teaching the cowboy how to fight with a sword and made a rather convincing argument on why Hanzo should help him. ("C'mon, anija! A freaking cowboy samurai!")

It was fine even when the brown sparrow abruptly declared that he had a meeting with that travelling omnic monk and flew off to the base of the mountain, leaving the two of them alone.

And it was comfortable even if the drills the swordmaster, who ironically couldn't actually hold a sword, made him do were tedious as hell. He had even managed to get a (admittedly faint) praise from Hanzo after three consecutive hours of swinging the wooden sword at thin air and a ridiculous amount of criticisms about his posture and stance. But hey, he'll take what he could get. McCree replied to the small achievement with a wink and a tip of his hat causing Hanzo to roll his eyes as he moved away to let the cowboy continue with his practice.

But then the chimera suddenly tensed up, muttered that he had to leave and bolted out of the dojo on all fours. It was far from the first time this happened but Hanzo had always harshly brushed them off saying that he needed time alone. These moments once happened frequently in the first few weeks of McCree sticking around the Japanese castle (after the dragon stopped trying to avoid him completely) but had seemed to be occurring less and less, until they stopped entirely. Hell, he privately wondered that maybe it was because the chimera was slowly becoming familiar with the cowboy. That theory was shot down when Hanzo started heading out alone more and more in the past two weeks.

McCree understood needing space from people. Hell, the reason he ended up in this part of the world in the first place was an attempt to get away from the world for at least a little while.

Heh. 'A little while'.

It has been three months since he came to the abandoned Japanese village to lay low from bounty hunters. Three months since he met the odd brother duo of a wolf-like dragon and a tiny sparrow, since he decided to settle down here despite the protests of the older brother and the encouragement of the younger.

(Five months since he begun ignoring the attempts to recall Overwatch and his encounter with someone who should have been long dead. Someone who was probably better off dead.)

Hanzo had always been somewhat distant and maybe that was just how he was.

From what words that weren't spoken in Japanese between the brothers and the bits of the language he was beginning to grasp, he'd slowly gathered that Genji himself only returned from what sounded like only a few months before the cowboy discovered the two and was gone for at least a year. So yeah, mysterious disappearances or not, the big guy could take care of himself.

It didn't stop him from being worried.

McCree shifted away from the frame of the door and started heading back inside the warm castle but he couldn't draw his eyes away from the tracks that Hanzo left in the snow. They lead out of the grounds and towards the surrounding mountain forest. It wasn't too hard to guess what he was doing there.

The first few times he saw Hanzo after his 'absences', the chimera had failed to clean all traces of blood from his fangs.

And there was the freshly mangled deer corpse he came across when he first entered Hanamura.

Not exactly an easy topic he could bring up to either the brothers.

But he couldn't exactly ignore how Hanzo was growing steadily gloomier as days went by. He couldn't ignore the worried looks the sparrow gave his brother after the slowly increasing amount of days the latter spent cooped up in his room, ones that were far too distressed to give to someone just avoiding company. The gunslinger's instincts screamed that the brothers were clearly hiding something in there.

Now he wasn't the type to go nosing around in someone else's business. In fact, unless they're in immediate danger, he was more likely to leave that shit alone even when he should have at least tried to help. Which, the cowboy supposed, was a good enough reason to make this the exception.

* * *

It couldn't have been any more difficult or anywhere near as morally dubious than many of the missions he'd done in Blackwatch but despite that his heart raced and guilt clawed at him as he drew closer to the dragon's room.

McCree took a deep breath as he stood in front the door to mentally prepare himself for whatever was in there before sliding it open.

The room looked like someone half-heartedly tried to clean up after a tornado that had long since passed.

If the bedroom didn't give such a somber and eerie atmosphere from how sharply it contrasted from its owner, he would've found it hypocritical of Hanzo to criticise him on being sloppy. With a shiver that he couldn't tell whether it was from the freezing temperature or his own nerves, McCree stepped into the bedroom and started to look around.

What little furniture and décor the room had was either broken or layered in a thick coating of dust.

Close to a folded futon, empty bottles of alcohol were scattered in the corner, a few cracked or shattered.

Ancient torn books sat in a stack, all written in Japanese. Its pictures showing an odd mix of eastern and western mythological creatures.

A map of the world lay beside it, covered in marks that McCree couldn't find a pattern between for the life of him.

A sword covered in a thick layer of dust. Remains of a broken bow, with its string snapped in two.

A datapad covered in scratches lay next to the futon, unsurprisingly password locked.

It was only after he searched the whole room, a torn scrap on top of the crushed bureau drew his attention.

The gunslinger picked up the piece of paper. It was a half of a photo, ripped roughly and looked like it had been crumpled into a ball then straightened out. The portion showed a young man with a cocky smile, bright green hair and a pair of rather familiar thick eyebrows. He was leaning on someone's shoulder whose identity and appearance was missing.

McCree had long before figured out that the brothers were not what they seemed. He wasn't an idiot, the whole talking sparrow and weird hybrid of a wolf and a dragon deal ain't exactly normal. He might know a talking gorilla from the moon but he doubted that scientists would genetically engineer a sparrow and a chimera for no apparent reason.

Not to mention that, although the brothers weren't singing out their life stories, neither of them made much of an attempt to hide who they were. Genji's comments on food that he couldn't eat. Both of the brothers' knowledge of weapons neither could actually use. How Hanzo would stare at Genji and his own reflection at times, filled with a mournful yearning for something long lost.

In a world where he knew people could come back to life (or at least not stay dead) and that time travel was possible in a way, McCree no longer had much of a reason to be skeptical about magic.

The cowboy searched through the bureau and the other shelves in the room for the other half of the picture but to no prevail. No other photographs either.

McCree let out a groan and stretched his back. Hanzo tended to not reappear until a good half a day or so. He still had enough time to continue snooping so he might as well take another look.

His eyes scanned over an opened sliding door leading to the balcony (explaining why the room felt like a freezer), a couple of scrolls (all covered in calligraphy or drawings of dragons), a glass door…

He blinked. Well that definitely didn't fit in with the rest of the castle's aesthetic.

Either Hanzo drunkenly decided to hire a team of contractors to the middle of nowhere to expand his already spacious room or that's another point to the magic theory.

* * *

It led to a small semi-circle room that was so different, so out of place from the rest of the Japanese castle that it should have been impossible that he'd never noticed it from the outside before. Its curved walls were made of glass, a skylight let the sun filter down and fill the room, grey stone benches bordered the walls with matching stone edging blocks circling the middle of the room.

And in the centre of that…

A goddamn tree.

McCree let out a whistle. Not exactly what he was expecting to find on the top floor of the castle.

It was like the other cherry blossoms that were scattered throughout the grounds but those had stopped blooming weeks ago as the weather grew colder. There was something unnatural about this tree with twisted branches.

How its flowers seem to almost glow in the sun's bright light.

How it seemed to lightly rain petals, so much more than it could have been possible.

How only a few flowers remained, isolated across a single branch as the rest of the tree remained bare.

He clambered onto the stone block, reached out to the closest blossom and-

McCree froze as faint noises from outside the room, heavy and stumbling, became louder and louder. He cursed under his breath, nearly losing his balance and falling off the stone.

Just because the cowboy had never seen Hanzo until hours after he first disappears doesn't mean the chimera never simply slipped back into the castle without notice. He never would've guessed that Hanzo would do it by bypassing the doors entirely and climbing the outside.

The outlaw scrambled to the side of the door and struggled to think of a way out of the glass room. Numerous experiences with close shaves or not, there was nowhere to escape and nowhere to hide. The dragon's senses were sharp enough to detect him immediately. Speaking of which...

Aw hell, why did he think doing this right after smoking was a good idea. He'd have better luck smashing the glass and trying to scale down the building than making a sorry attempt to hide.

McCree held his breath anyway when he heard a thud from the balcony and peeked at the figure as it entered the bedroom.

Normally Hanzo towered over him on his hind legs, never slouching, rarely worn out, movements quiet despite his size. But here he was, on all fours, looking almost as if he was just about to pass out on his feet, breaths heavy enough that McCree could hear them from across the room. His pace was irregular, claws loudly clacking against the wooden floor.

Contrasting to his slow lumbering movements, his long tail swayed almost erratically, agitated. His gi was crumpled and loosened, exposing more of the fur that covered his chest. McCree narrowed his eyes. The blue of scales and silver of his fur was tainted with deep red, his maw and claws soaked in blood and glistened wet from snow.

To put it plainly, he looked like shit.

On any other occasion Hanzo would have noticed his presence from the other side of the entire castle, something he once said made ridiculously easy with his sharp senses and the cowboy's spurs and strong scent of smoke. He would've noticed that the glass door was left wide open, that various of his belongings were slightly misplaced, McCree's scent. But if the dragon did notice any of them he made no attempts at acknowledging it as he stumbled into the alcove right past the cowboy. Dark droplets of blood trailed along the marble floor, standing out from the light pink of fallen flowers.

Hanzo slumped over in front of the tree, his left hand squeezing the stone border, hard enough to leave deep gouges and scratches. McCree caught a glimpse of his golden eyes, his brown irises were thin slits like a cat, almost feral yet unfocused, gazing towards the tree.

With Hanzo like this, he might be able to sneak away even with his spurs on.

McCree stayed where he was.

He flinched when the creature suddenly slammed the paw onto the stone, the impact leaving cracks. Hanzo hunched over, head pressing against the side of the block, and hissed out incoherent words that McCree could barely make out, full of sorrow.

"He wouldn't- he could never, no point in hoping, I can't-"

Cutting himself off, he curled further into himself, drawing his arms up until claws began to digging into his scaled face. He made a sound, soft and utterly vulnerable, that McCree could only describe as a whimper.

The beast was so different from the strong disciplined dragon that had the worst sense of humor he had ever seen, so different from the pouty yet prideful man that he was growing so familiar with. It broke his heart to see Hanzo be reduced something less than human on both the inside and out.

And he couldn't help but murmur his name.

The chimera's head whipped towards him, face switching between shock, anger, shame and fear in an instant before he took a long shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The beast and the cowboy stood still as blood slowly dripped from the former's mouth, atmosphere tense enough to be cut with a knife, before Hanzo finally looked back at McCree. His dark brown irises were circular once more and his expression now blank, unreadable.

"Why are you here, cowboy?" the steadiness of his deep growling voice sounded forced as Hanzo visibly trembled as he struggled to control himself. His golden eyes glared up at the cowboy.

McCree said nothing. Any excuse or distraction he could possibly say was stuck in his throat.

With a flare of anger, Hanzo pushed himself up onto his knees, shoulders still hunched, and roughly wiped the blood off his face and fangs with the sleeve of his shirt.

"What? Did you think you would catch me behaving like what I truly am, instead of pretending that I am not a monster?"

What the hell could have done this to him?

"Well?! Are you pleased with what you see- with what I am?!"

McCree couldn't imagine what he looked like, with his brown eyes and the strange golden markings on his left arm. The brother of that green-haired young man.

"Answer me!"

McCree's eyes flickered in the direction of the torn picture was. The chimera's anguish at his silence turned to confusion but then he flinched, as he realised what the man was looking at and put together what it meant. His triangular ears folded back.

"You saw the photo of Genji," he broke eye contact and stared at the cherry blossom tree. "You know."

"I… was suspectin' it for a while now but I guess you just confirmed it, Hanzo."

The beast fell silent. What remained of his anger had completely drained out of the man, clearly unprepared for this confrontation. That makes the two of them. Hanzo's entire body was tense, jaw clenched tight.

"It was the eyebrows," the cowboy blurted out the first thought that popped into his head, unable to stand the deafening silence any longer. Hanzo stared back at him, his pained look replaced by complete confusion. "I mean Genji's markings- y'know that they're exactly the same. Heh, back then when I first met you both, I didn't even think that a bird could have 'em like that, let alone such thick ones. Also, it looks t'me that he tried styling his feathers the same way his hairdo was before." He waved his hands around his head to mimic the ruffled look.

Hanzo looked like he was in utter disbelief at his lightheartedness. A tense few seconds later, McCree gave him a nervous grin, hoping to god that something would interrupt them. Like an avalanche so he could be buried in something other than his regrets and embarrassment. 'God his stare could make a guy shrivel up and d-' His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a strangled noise that looked like Hanzo had tried to muffle with his paw. Hold up, was that a laugh? He felt a heated flush growing on his cheeks. The few times the cowboy made the other man laugh (and not just chuckle) never failed to make his insides flutter.

An amused expression grew on the beast's face. "Believe me, you should be glad that he didn't try dyeing himself that horrendous shade of green as well. I had to compromise with making a scarf that actually fit him," he said with nostalgic fondness and a soft look in his eyes.

The gunslinger ignored the warm feeling growing in his chest, tilted his head and hummed. "I dunno about that. I think the green actually suits him."

"Now I know you absolutely need glasses," Hanzo retorted back with a smile that bared his sharp teeth. "It certainly explains why you squint like the sun is in your eyes all the time. That and your foolish taste in clothing."

McCree put his hand over chest and dramatically replied "Darlin', you wound me, I have you know I look amazing!" The dragon let out another snort.

"You are only proving my point."

It was relaxing, falling back to that easy banter they had together. Then McCree hesitated, knowing that as much as the both of them would like to, they couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. "Hanzo, what happened to the other half of t' photo?"

He could see Hanzo's mood instantly darken. "Burned it. There is no point in longing for something I never deserved."

Longing.

"An' what on earth makes you think that? You can't say you deserve to be stuck like this?!"

Hanzo let out a hollow humourless laugh.

"With my pride and duty I ruined my brother's life. He was punished for my sins, my mistakes. I caused my home, my village to be abandoned. Even before all that I… I was going to-" A paw touched his left arm. "I was never human in the first place."

Hanzo's voice broke off and claws tightened around the arm, with enough strength to pierce through the sleeve of his gi and scales to draw blood. And out of reflex, McCree snatched the chimera's wrist.

He froze immediately at his touch. They stared at each other, Hanzo startled at the sudden contact, McCree unsure if what he was about to do next was wise.

Oh, fuck it.

He pulled the cursed man towards him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his forehead against the crook of his neck, pushing his hat askew. To say Hanzo was cold from being out in the snow was an understatement but he couldn't care less. The beast was rigid and tense but made no effort to push the cowboy away.

"I can't believe that, Hanzo."

At those words, the chimera let out a shudder, leaning in slightly closer. McCree's hand pressed reassuringly onto his back. The dragon paused before slowly resting his muzzle on the cowboy's shoulder. He made no attempt at returning his embrace, arms staying at his sides but the cowboy could feel him going limp in his arms.

The dragon took in a long breath and let out a low and rumbling croon, one that made something in McCree's chest tighten.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, listening to the other's breathing as McCree gently rubbed circles on the chimera's back. The fur on his chest was slightly sticky with drying blood but the gunslinger didn't give a damn.

He only wondered if Hanzo could hear how loudly his heart was pounding in his chest.

Pulling back slightly, Hanzo finally spoke, "Do you know why I hunt? Why I sneak into my own home like a criminal?" His reluctance to continue was written on his face as clear as day.

"I didn't want you to get h-...to think I was an animal, to know that I'm losing myself slowly," Hanzo whispered, "Again."

"Soon after I- after this happened," he made a slight gesture to himself, "Genji and I- we fought. He wanted us to leave Hanamura to find a cure. I was…scared. Angry. Didn't want to leave, not even leave the castle. It was only a matter of time until neither of us could handle seeing each other, seeing what we've become, so he left. I stayed."

"I did not notice it happening at first, it was so similar to how my-" the dragon cut himself off again and paused "It felt… normal almost. Natural. Like being able to fight, having a purpose once more. Even if it was just sneaking out to slaughter animals mindlessly." He raised his arms up, staring blankly at the stained claws where blood was slowly starting to dry. He clenched them tightly and looked away.

Bitterness filled his voice. "I only realised how far I was gone when Genji returned with that omnic- I don't even remember most of it. Apparently, I was feral, a monster, and village was empty, long deserted."

He curled into himself even more, pressing closer under the cowboy's embrace. His unspoken words said too much. McCree wrapped his arms around him tighter.

"He only remains here because he has gotten a stupid idea that he can stop this. A foolish stupid idea that is dooming him when he could be out there, saving himself and being free. I never deserved his pity. I am only glad that he at least remains in control of himself." A tinge of hopelessness entered his growls. "There's no time left. I'll forever lose the form I once had and one day I will be nothing more than a mindless beast," he raised his head and looked at McCree. His resignation faded from his face, replaced by a softened expression. "And by then you will be long gone."

At those words the cowboy felt like a dagger was plunged into his back. He pushed him away to grab the chimera by his shoulders and looked at him dead in the eye. "Now wait a minute! Why would you even think that?"

"There's that video you watch when you think I'm not here. The one of Overwatch calling for aid," the cursed man said simply. "You are needed by the world. And from the stories you tell, you're a hero, a vigilante, someone who wants to do right in this world, are you not? What good can you do by staying with a monster?!" his voice raised louder and louder with the last of his words being spat out with a snarl, thick with self-loathing.

All the goddamn good in the world.

His hands clenched into fists, McCree couldn't help but yell back, "And do you want me to leave?!"

It caught Hanzo completely off-guard.

"…No," he said after a moment and then turned his head away. "But that does not mean that you should stay."

"Yeah, well it's my decision, thank you very much!" The moment he made that declaration, guilt began to weigh down upon him. Loud words for someone who didn't, couldn't promise to stay.

As comfortable as the past few months has been, he wasn't made for the domestic life (even one as odd as this). He could feel an itch caused by restlessness and wanderlust from being in one place too long. McCree didn't belong in this castle in the small Japanese village. He hasn't belonged anywhere in years.

Not to mention people needed help and not even being isolated in their own little world could blind either of them from that fact.

The two fell silent for some time, dwelling on each other's words and what was never said.

McCree couldn't guess what Hanzo did when he was human and even if it turned out to be nothing good, he wanted to know. Then again, it's not like he let him in on much of his own life, only telling the brothers stories of the past few years, giving no hint of Deadlock or Blackwatch. Hanzo knew of his connection to Overwatch but not to what extent.

In a flat tone the chimera broke the silence. "Genji has been trying for the past three years and yet it is- I am getting worse."

"Three years?" the outlaw reluctantly pushed aside the worries of the man before him potentially losing his mind and focused on this new piece of information. He never really had the chance to think thoroughly about the timespan of the curse since Hanzo confirmed his suspicions. Hell, earlier today McCree assumed that the sparrow had only returned to the castle recently from the way the brothers spoke of it and that the brothers parted ways for possibly a year or so. If the past three years felt like nothing to them then… "How long have the two of you been like this?"

"…Since 2066."

Ten years. Christ, Hanzo was alone for seven entire years.

That revelation felt almost as if it sparked a fire in his chest and anger burned at the one who cursed the brothers.

He wanted to save them. To save Hanzo. He had to.

The gunslinger once again moved closer to the transformed man, brushing his hand against his cheek, ready to retreat at any signs of discomfort. Mechanical fingers gently tangled around the silver fur on the side of his head. The dragon faltered, overwhelmed by the most amount of physical contact he had in years.

"Jesse," he murmured breathlessly, eyes wide. How did the other man simply using his first name make his heart race a mile a minute? A shaking paw raised, tentatively hovering over his hand. McCree gently stroked the dark blue scales and the golden markings under his eyes with his thumb before Hanzo carefully placed his own paw over the prosthetic and pressed his face closer to his palm.

Hanzo slowly relaxed into the touch, eyes shut and let out a deep rumbling sigh that made McCree's heart ache.

"Why exactly did you get cursed?"

Hanzo's eyes snapped open, filled with a pained look.

"Touchy subject, I got it. Sorry, you don't need to answer that," McCree said hurriedly. Another deep breath. "Alrighty then, do you have any idea how to break it?"

The chimera tensed up again. He remained silent and slowly pulled away from the metal hand. Dark brown eyes flickered away nervously, avoiding McCree as much as possible.

Hanzo obviously knew there was a way.

And for some stupid reason he wasn't telling him.

For all his patience, the gunslinger couldn't help but get frustrated. "Then what about Genji? Are you just gonna leave him like that?!" McCree snapped. "Dammit Hanzo, please just tell me how to help you!"

He expected anger from the chimera but faltered at the intense gaze he received instead, neither enraged nor cold, but despairing. It hurt more than any blow to the chest.

"Why are you here?" Hanzo asked again in a hoarse whisper. "Why do you stay?"

A hundred reasons raced through McCree's head. Because I was curious about a so-called monster in a tiny village. Because I know I came to Hanamura years ago but I can't remember for the life of me why. Because I needed a place to run away from everything. Because the both of you looked so sad. Because there's something about you that makes me-

He halted that train of thought with a weak smile. "I ain't leavin' because you're my friend."

Judging by how Hanzo stiffened up, a stoic mask on his face as he glanced once more at the cherry blossom tree, that was the wrong answer. "…I see."

The chimera stumbled to his feet, needing a moment to regain his balance, straightened his gi and began to walk away. McCree wasn't going to get anymore answers out of him, not today. It took all of the gunslinger's willpower to resist reaching out to him once more.

Just as he reached the door, he tilted his head towards McCree. "It may seem that I'm not trying to break the curse but know this, Jesse McCree. I will find a way to give my brother back his true form. As long as I can do that, I do not care if I'm condemned to spend the rest of my days being a monster."

And with those words, Hanzo left, leaving the cowboy standing alone in the small glass room.

McCree stumbled back onto a stone bench, letting his gaze fall onto the tree, onto that single blossoming branch. He didn't get any answers about that either. And for someone who believes that he should remain cursed, Hanzo looked scared to death of that happening. The cowboy shook his head.

For whatever 'crime' the man had committed, letting himself completely lose who he was is no way to redeem himself.

"You can expect me to believe that when hell freezes over."


End file.
